I am your father

The primary goal of any spruik is a call to arms - grab some debt and buy some bricks: NOW! Yet it's only the most feeble of mind that falls for the cheapest of lines from the guy who recently mothballed his oversized Harvey Norman shirt. The secondary goal of spruiking is the most insidious part, and the one that really sucks the oblivious over the falls.

It's the accumulation; the nonsense you've read and seen and heard. Continually building in your system until it becomes accepted fact - not because it is, but because the unrelenting BS has left a virtual skidmark on your psyche. How can you bleach that skidmark away? Unfortunately, the lessons that flush away myths usually come at the expense of your own finances.

The "gee I saved money by waiting" story, is one rarely presented by media overlords, especially when they're at the behest of real estate ad bucks. As you might have noticed, it's one story I pull the pin on and throw regularly.

On this occasion, someone wrote the first chapter, but they didn't get around to writing the sequel. And for me, the sequel is the real story. The media is only too happy to show you the dreams of the farm boy, but never wants to show you the farm boy losing his hand, having his friend frozen in carbon then taken by a bounty hunter, or discovering his father is a murderous half robot with a bad case of emphysema.

Episode V: Reality Strikes Back

At the start of November, The Advocate's Libby Bingham churned out one of those stories that has you scratching your head - "really, this is news?" Yes, a developer had built, and listed, the first of two town houses in Devonport. The going price? $950,000. Each.

It might be expected that I'd go on a Tasmania, debt, crumbling, welfare, low income, zero population growth, retail failing, listings exploding, sales crashing type rant, but hey - these people know the market...

"You ring any real estate agent and they will tell you this is the most expensive street in Devonport ... it's just back from Victoria Parade but without the busy passing traffic," he said.

Mr Fennessy and wife Brigid felt there was a gap in Devonport's new housing market at the upper level, where buyers were willing to pay for quality homes in the right location.

So, say 'hi' to the twins of  Gloucester Street...

 

The lead of the story was even more puzzling. A week into listing, the first town house had apparently generated a significant amount of pressure in the pants from buyers. And this wasn't just local buyers busting their zippers, those magical mainlanders were forgoing their Viagra - because these town houses were even making them horny.

DEVONPORT developer Patrick Fennessy fielded local and interstate interest in two prestige town houses with unimpeded ocean views and the premium price tag to match of $950,000, after the first home completed was listed for less than a week.

Mr Fennessy said the luxury abodes, on the corner of North Fenton and Gloucester streets, had drawn interest from potential local buyers and some from Queensland and New South Wales.

See, in my small mind, it doesn't make any sense to be yammering to the local paper about those potential buyers. If they're making all these calls, surely you're going to lasso one of them and you don't need to spruik? Of course my cynical arse said, "I'll check this one in a couple of months."

And here we are. Three months on and it seems the prank callers were up to their old tricks; it's discount time on Gloucester Street because no one's bought anything. The initial listing, the "lights on at dusk" is now asking for "offers over $800,000." Not even the YouTube voice over dude could tempt an offer.

The second listing, just onto the market, is also asking for "offers over $800,000 - this time with a different agent. I really hope that $300,000, which has disappeared across these two properties, was only fat.

Ain't this the real story? The big discounts (maybe only just beginning) the savings for buyers and now - the competition between agents. We've heard about their skills, their professionalism and why they're worth every cent. Here we have two mirror image town houses, in exactly the same location, with exactly the same price, listed with two different agents.

I'll tip my hat to anyone who can lay one of those houses off to some bozo, I'll even write a resplendent tribute to round off this trilogy - Episode VI: Return of the Agent.

But I draw the line at including ewoks.