Disclosure

Whist on a summer sojourn of sniffing out dishonesty and downright weaseldom, I've continued to stray away from Tasmania. Apologies to my four Tasmanian fans, but when weasels have to be smoked out, you pour some diesel down the hole and light it up - then hope the weasel doesn't come for you balls.

None of this may modify anyone's behaviour, but at least if anyone stumbles in here looking for a penis enlargement in Devonport (yes, someone found me that way) they'll receive a quick lesson in ethical bypasses, before moving on and acquiring those extra inches.

Over in Adelaide it's the same game as everywhere else. Reporters who shelled out for a degree to get their foot in the door, find the only skills they're using are the ones from the first three weeks of their first semester - in their first year - and that's from one subject. Had they realised this earlier, they could have dropped out before their first census date and saved themselves three years and 15-20k.

Not only is the con being played on readers, it's being played on the gormless key bangers who wracked up that debt load to get access to Rupert's pyramid of nonsense - one day you too will get to muse on the opinion page, that's if the CEO's new girlfriend doesn't beat you to it.

But before they can pose with their serious face and get their name in bold, they have to churn out a few thousand more sausages. The meat the real estate writers are turning their attention to now, is that of the tender first home buyer - and they really want to coax that meat back into the market.

So here's another mystery bag from the Adelaide Advertiser, full of dubious content. And full marks to Benny Hyde, as the Advertiser's chief real estate sausage maker, for this one.

Leading in with the usual 'tough times for first home buyers' spiel, Ben quickly gets into creative finance to make the dream happen...

But lending institutions say that home ownership is still achievable, particularly through such methods as a guarantor or family pledge.

If the family Christmas wasn't trying enough already, imagine how more palatable you could make it by sucking your family into a vortex of debt they may never escape from. As the article went on it became more a "how-to," how to get mummy and daddy's house into one hell of a mess if there's a misstep in the market or your employment prospects take a dive. BankSA's Chris Ward stepped in with some suggestions...

"For people who are gaining financial help from their family, BankSA has a product called Family Pledge where parents or a relative can use the equity in their home to help out," he says.

"The equity in the parents' home provides additional security for a portion of the loan, without the parents actually having to provide the cash for a deposit."

But are any of these articles ever complete without the requisite youngin' fronting for the photo and chiming in about how they did it? Meet Lisa Vallely, she bought a block of land last year at Northgate in the Lightsview development. She's intending to build her first home and says the great Australian dream is still achievable.

Now Lisa doesn't look overly happy, so I hope she hasn't sat on a nail, but I can tell you where she is smiling - in her Brock Harcourts profile picture!

Notice the Brock logo in the bottom of that for sale sign... She even has a few listings in the suburb she's building her new home. Not that this is her first dance in the media, Lisa was on hand to comment to Ben Hyde when interest rates were jacked up in November...

Astute homebuyers will be prepared for the increase, including Lisa Vallely and partner Matthew Solomon, who settled last month on a block of land at Lightsview in Northgate where they are about to start building their first home.

"It's not ideal but we knew that there was an interest rate rise coming," Ms Vallely, 23, said.

"We thought that it might not have been this soon."

Time to start thinking, girly.