Meeja

As David Bartlett facebooked himself out of the premiership yesterday, I suspect there must have been a hint of frustration in real estate circles. Their latest spruik attempt had been overshadowed by the emergence of our new Premier, La La Giggles and her deputy, Bryan 'two hung juries' Green.

It's a comforting thought the state is now being led by an arts/law graduate, with a history of being an ex Labor staffer, portfolio bungler and blame shifter - Tanya Plibersek eat your heart out. And the deputy? Well he returned two hung juries in a criminal conspiracy case; accused of giving a building accreditation company, run by a former Labor minister, a state-wide monopoly worth a million dollars a year.

What this fiasco overshadowed was the revelation the east coast of Tasmania is heading for boom times.

YOU ain't seen nothing yet - that's the message from a Tasmanian real estate expert who says the East Coast is buzzing and on the cusp of a property boom.

The Mercury, more specifically Hannah Martin was behind this. Hannah, if you're reading, your soul is decaying with every piece of rubbish like this you churn out. It's not too late, go investigate something, write a book. Go watch that new Julia Roberts movie - you might get some ideas. And no, 'Eat Pray Spruik' shouldn't be the title of any book.

If you've been paying any attention to this blog you'll realise one of my major oversights was ignoring the East Coast; nice place, good holiday spot, but it's not exactly ground zero unless you're a pot farmer, fisherman or retired. Exaggeration, sure, but I always thought it was too far to commute to the major centres - Apparently not, because according to REIT President, Adrian Kelly:

Orford in the South and St Helens in the North were now considered commuter towns for the major cities.

By whom? Orford is around an hour from Hobart (not including any rush hour) and St. Helens? Two hours fifteen minutes from Launceston under the same circumstance. Now you mainland peeps may scoff, but no one wants to drive that far to work down here and secondly we're consistently told people come to Tasmania for the lifestyle, to relax - to get away from the long commutes, they now want to come here and sit in a car for up to four hours a day? But if you're spruiking, you're spruiking.

He said mainland seachangers were driving development in the area and pushing up property values.

Get in before it's too late because like The Black Eyed Peas, Adrian Kelly and LJ Hooker Senorita Nereda Ball have a feeling.

I think Tasmania's East Coast has still got a long way to go... We expect things will really pick up by the end of 2011.

Not that they need any interpretation, but I put those phrases into Google Translate, turning them from Real Estate Speak into English and I got, "we're currently in the crapper, we don't think, we don't expect, hell we don't even know - we just hope like hell things will pick up!"

As Jim from Sandy Bay said in the comment section:

This story is like a sandwich board that some spotty teenager, standing on a kerb, waves at the passing traffic. Only it's advertising quick, greasy real estate deals than cheesy pizza.

Readers are hip to this sleazy game by now and while they might not have irrefutable proof, their suspicions are well founded. It's taken me a while to drag this one out into the light, through sheer forgetfulness and not having a story to tie it into, but thanks to some people at the simple and sustainable forum, I have some clear meshing of news and advertising from The West Australian.

Port Kennedy pair Matt Beezley and Chloe Everington claim the constant discussion about housing affordability had scared them into early action.

The story stunk of placement and as always, the immediate reaction to such a story is, "hmm, I wonder if they're on Facebook." Before I could do anything about it, S&S forum member, Charles Bukowski (I suspect not the real one) beat me to my second thought - he contacted young Matt and asked how he came to be a media star with his noggin featured in the paper.

Charles Bukowski January 7 at 5:27pm: Hi Matt, I saw you in an article and googled your name. I am interested to know how you came about being in the article, who approached you? Was in (sic) Homebuyers?

Matt Beezley January 8 at 12:43pm: Yeah home buyers spoke to me and said they needed a young couple for an article to show that young people are still buying houses.

And there it is. Now while some S&S members wondered about their ability to pay the joint off, I wondered if the Beez and his lady were even buying a house at all? I'm not reaching to say it; the article is a placement and if we take the state of the Perth market, as described five days later...

The number of properties for sale has dropped 12 per cent in the past month but Perth's property market is still starting the year with a 27 per cent oversupply and 47 per cent more listings than this time last year.

A combination of lagging sales, interest rate rises and political uncertainty resulted in Perth's market being flooded with properties last year, with a 70 per cent rise in listings from 10,372 in January to 17,326 at the end of November.

 ...Homebuyers Centre would be damn keen to show someone - anyone - was signing up for their "no savings" and "guarantor" loan schemes. They look around one of their building sites and see the Beez pushing a wheelbarrow and maybe they found their man. Just the perfect poster boy for the gun shy Perth buyer - "he's busting his arse for the dream, why aren't you?"

Or so the script read.

So back to the East Coast, how did that story get in The Mercury? Here's some 4x2's currently available in St. Helens:

On the market over 10 months. Initial listing price - $470,000. Now discounted to $398,000.

On the market 7-1/2 months. Initial listing price - $450,000. Now discounted to $399,995.

How much buzz did the REIT say was actually in this market and which way was it supposedly heading?