Naples Nutter

The dearth of Long Beach inventory has made it really difficult to find properties worth featuring, but then I saw this outrageously overpriced pile of shit and just had to put it on the blog.

WISHING PRICE: $499,000
ADDRESS: 6150 East BAY SHORE Walk #10, 90803
BEDS: 1
BATHS: 1
SQ. FT.: 815
$/SQ. FT.: $612
YEAR BUILT: 1965
COMMUNITY: Belmont Shore/Park/Naples/Marina Pacific/Bay Harbor
MLS#: S640717
ON REDFIN: 15 days

HOA: $298

DOWN PAYMENT: $99,800

INCOME REQUIREMENT: $114,000/year

MONTHLY NUT: $2,800
DESCRIPTION: Beautiful sought after Alamitos Bay Shore Condo in the exclusive community of Bay Shore Yacht Club. This Bay front condominium features 1 master suite with upgraded kitchen and bath. Only 15 units in this secured building. Underground parking with storage unit. Elevator to the 3rd floor. Laundry facility onsite. Can watch the Naples Boat parade right from your Bay view balcony and front room. Low association. Rarely on the market. .. .so get you offers in fast!

$499,000 for an 815 square foot apartment.

$499,000 for an 815 square foot apartment with one bedroom.

$499,000 for an 815 square foot apartment with one bedroom in a 45-year-old building.

$499,000 for an 815 square foot apartment with one bedroom in a 45-year-old building with community laundry.

$499,000 for an 815 square foot apartment with one bedroom in a 45-year-old building with community laundry, sporting kitchen counters and cabinets like these:

Good lord.

I mean, the fact that he shelled out for a fancy stainless steel oven and microwave but left everything else hideously intact (what, ran out of money for the matching fridge?) -- and then with a straight face claims this is an "upgraded" kitchen -- tells you pretty much everything you need to know about this seller's mental state.

And great news: those horrendous kitchen cabinets are continued in the bathroom!

Absolutely revolting. Shower doors and a curtain. I've never seen that. And I can't recall ever seeing such half-assed "upgrading." Embarrassing.

Again, I remind you, this asshole is asking HALF-A-MILLION DOLLARS.

That asking price would require the potential homeowner, at the very minimum, to make $114,000 per year to reasonably afford this place. You really think a single person or retiree sitting on that kind of loot would seriously consider putting it into this festering wound on the anus of the MLS?

This pricing makes absolutely no sense. The most expensive nearby one-bedroom to sell during the last six months was for $290,000. Given, it wasn't right on the water or in this stellar location, but that's not the point. Do these mongoloids truly believe their shit box is really worth another $209,000 because it's in this particular building?

I guess the question's in the answer, isn't it?

The only comp I could find for the building was a smaller unit with a similarly nauseating kitchen and bathroom that sold last summer summer for a measly $327,000.

Anyone think after viewing the interior photos of this lumpy, low-end yawn box that it deserves a $182,000 premium over that comp?

Really?!

His proximity to the water is clouding his judgment. The fact is, no matter where this building is located this is an 815 square foot apartment with one bedroom in a 45-year-old building with community laundry, sporting kitchen counters and cabinets like these:

It's worth noting that this place was purchased for $385,000 in 2005. Given that the vast, overwhelming majority of Long Beach properties are selling for 2003 prices or lower, this asking price makes even less sense. Their little-r realtor is clearly doing nothing to encourage a realistic asking price, so here we have yet another delusional Long Beach seller clogging up the MLS and wasting everyone's time. If he, for whatever reason, had to lower the price to a level that would actually garner a sale, he'd be lopping off, at a minimum, $150,000 just to get the bidding started.

What do you think, given what you know about this seller thus far, the odds are of that happening?

And the fact that the market-clearing price for such and undesirable property (in a highly desirable, yet lightly traveled by buyers, area) is in reality so much lower than the current asking price highlights the worst part of this whole situation: Because he waited too long to put it on the market, he now has zero room to negotiate. He painted himself into a pricing corner.

And now, unless he wants to write a check to the bank at closing, his only choices are leaving it on the market hoping for a miracle, or tucking his tail between his legs, taking it off the MLS and gritting his teeth every time he makes his roughly $2,200 payment for the next 25 years -- knowing full well that he could rent the very same place for considerably less.

So given those crappy options, why sell in the first place? I'm sure some of you noticed that a 5-year Adjustable Rate Mortgage would have reset and recast earlier this year, making the ability to keep up with that hefty payment considerably more difficult. Coincidence?

Nah, couldn't be.