**BREAKING NEWS**BREAKING NEWS**BREAKING NEWS**

**FOR WIDESPREAD DISSEMINATION**

CRACK PANDEMIC SWEEPS DOWNTOWN LONG BEACH, CA.

LONG BEACH POLICE SPOKESMAN SAMUEL L. BRONKOWITZ INFORMS THE LONG BEACH HOUSING BLOG THAT AN EXCESSIVELY POTENT STRAIN OF CRACK COCAINE HAS MADE ITS WAY INTO THE GREATER LONG BEACH AREA, AND ESPECIALLY DOWNTOWN.

THIS POWERFUL VERSION, REFERRED TO BY THOSE ON THE STREET AS "SUPER-CRACK," IS SAID TO CAUSE USERS TO LOSE TOUCH WITH REALITY AND SUFFER FROM HORRIFIC DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR. ACCORDING TO POLICE SOURCES, EFFORTS ARE BEING MADE TO CONTAIN THE SPREADING PANDEMIC, BUT THERE ARE REPORTS OF PARTICULARLY FREQUENT USE AMONG THE BANKER AND REALTOR COMMUNITIES.

PLEASE BE ON THE LOOKOUT AND CALL POLICE IF YOU SEE EVIDENCE OF SUPER-CRACK ABUSE IN YOUR COMMUNITY.

"Yeah, uh, Police? You need to get down here now. Some crackhead just photoshopped flames into a fireplace."

Address: 400 W Ocean Blvd #3002, 90802
Asking Price: $2,149,000
Year Built: 2007
Size: 3 beds, 3 baths, 3,249 sq. ft.
$/Sq. Ft.: $661
HOA Fine: $994
MLS#: U9000979
Down Payment: $430,000
Monthly Payment: $13,000
Income Requirement: $614,000
Description: Try to find another that compares! Here is your chance to own the top 30th floor (tallest in Long Beach) Penthouse home in the newest high rise complex,'West Ocean'. This amazing home offers some of the best 270+ views of the ocean & city from Santa Monica to Newport Beach! These views also include Catalina Island & amazing sunrises & sunsets! This exclusive Penthouse offers a spacious & open floor plan w/views from every room & 3 oversized balconies for plenty of outside living! Interior upgrades include granite counter tops in the kitchen & all bathrooms,custom travertine flooring, extra high ceilings unique to the penthouses only, custom cabinetry w/european hinges & pulls,upgraded gas stainless appliances. Master bath walk-in marble shower & jacuzzi tub w/incredible views along w/marble floors w/mosaic inlay. 24hr guard,pool,spa,sauna,rec. room,bus. center,wine cellar,storage room,guest suite & more! Premier owner parking next to elevator. A must see!

Original Listing Date: Nov 23, 2007

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