Hello 2003 Pricing, Glad You Could Make it!

Address: 140 N Claremont Ave, 90803
Asking Price: $739,900
Year Built: 1925
Size: 2 beds, 1 baths, 957 sq. ft.
$/Sq. Ft.: $773
Purchase price: $899,000
Purchase date: 8/2005
MLS#: P662996
On Redfin: 96 days
Down Payment: $147,980
Monthly Payment: $4,000
Income Requirement: $211,000
Description: JUST REDUCED! REDUCED! $50,000. This is a great LOCATION, don't let the square footgage keep you away from seeing this Sunny and Bright Home on a Corner Lot just Steps from the BAY. This Unique Location has BAY VIEW from the Kitchen, Backyard and Sideyard. There's Nothing like it in the Shore. Not only do you have the Fantasic View, but the Owners have made Significant Upgrades, such as: Remodeled Kitchen with Stainless Steel Appliances, Copper Plumbing, New Mahonaney Wood Floors Throughout, Double Hung Windows with Low-E Insulated Glass, Remodeled Bathroom, Crown Molding, New Roof, New Awnings, Freshly Painted Inside and Out, Sprinkler System and last but not least a Security System. Property has a single car detached garage, but has room for 3 parking spaces. Because of this Location and the View, this Home has Great Potential for Adding on and Doubling your Value.

Honestly, I think this is the worst, laziest, most incredibly muddled, woefully error-filled listing description I’ve ever featured on this blog.

If I were to parody a “Typical Illiterate Realtor” and write a jokey listing description, I don’t think I could do a better job.

You’ve got inexplicably repeated words (“REDUCED! REDUCED!”);

Alarmingly capitalized words (“This is a great LOCATION.”);

Horrific misspellings (“footgage” “Fantasic,” “Mahonaney”)

And the pièce de la résistance of random, wholly unnecessary Title Case (too many examples to list).

Good God, man. Have you no pride in your work? Those 96 days haven’t blessed you with 15 spare seconds to have a fourth-grader skim over your sad little screed?

And as a closer we get this beaut’: “Because of this Location and the View, this Home has Great Potential for Adding on and Doubling your Value.”



Unless you add on four more stories and a Condor enclosure, I don’t see how this place could double in value anytime before 2040. I’ll give you three guesses who doesn’t get it…Go!

Ugh. Anyhow, back to the actual property. Lots and lots of upgrades, yet somehow it doesn’t look like a place with that much scratch sunk into it. Weird right? It looks very outdated and, well, like it was built in 1925.



And that explains why, despite these improvements, it’s still languishing on the market.

These sellers really screwed the pooch. They bought in August 2005 for $899,000, sunk God knows how much into a new roof, new copper plumbing (not cheap), a new (tiny, old-looking) kitchen, crown molding, etc…and now they’re trying to unload it for a 2003-equivalent price. If you assume they can actually sell it at this price and factor in improvement costs and commissions, the total loss on the property will be at least -$250,000. BRUTAL.

By the way, what are “Double Hung Windows with Low-E Insulated Glass”? I don’t see any updated windows whatsoever. I mean, check out the screen door! Somebody’s pulling a fast one.



The one silver lining is that the previous owner, who obviously left this place in shitty condition to necessitate such thorough updates and repairs, bought in 2001 for $393,000 and sold to these suckers for MORE THAN TWICE WHAT HE PAID JUST FOUR YEARS EARLIER!

Nice work, pal. I hope instead of buying an overpriced replacement you saw the ridiculousness of 22% annual appreciation, socked away your windfall into a 4.5% CD and rented a decent place overlooking the water. Man, I’d sleep like a drunken baby every night, dreaming of doing the backstroke on mountains of gold coins like motherfuckin’ Uncle Scrooge from Duck Tales.



I’ve thoroughly documented Long Beach’s steady decline from 2007 prices...

down to 2006 prices...

down to 2005 prices...

down to 2004 prices...

...and now it seems we are about to kiss ’04 goodbye as well. All in the matter of a year and a half! Next stop, 2003…and nobody knows the final destination of this freight train.

I mean, if this well-located (albeit kind of shabby-looking) place, spitting distance from the sand, can’t get action at what is quickly approaching a 2003 asking price (they’ve been asking $160k less than the 2005 price since FREAKING NOVEMBER and still no interest!), then what chance of success do LB sellers in less desirable areas that are still asking 2004-era asking prices have?

Answer: Very little.

Once the Great Housing Bubble has been fully deflated, those that chased the market down in an effort to deny the cold, hard truth that their decision to overpay for property during the housing frenzy was the financial equivalent of shitting the bed, will collectively kick themselves in the ass for not getting more serious about price reductions when the writing was on the wall and they could have still gotten out before financial ruination came knocking.

The sound of that collective ass kicking, my friends, will be deafening.