It was Nice Knowing You, $200 Per Square Foot



Address: 837 E. Ocean Unit #??, 90802
Asking Price: $234,500
Size: 2 beds, 1 baths, 1,206 sq. ft. (built in ??)
$/Sq. Ft.: $194
HOA Fee: ??
Purchase price: $389,534
Purchase date: 3/2008
MLS#: 08-333463
On Redfin: 1 day
Down Payment: $47,000
Monthly Payment: $1,500 (assuming $200 HOA)
Income Requirement: $67,000
Description: Bank-owned property in prime Long Beach location move-in condition 2 bdrm, 1 bth with great open floor plan. Kitchen opens to living room and dining area with nice front porch. In heart of downtown only 4 units in charming building.

This listing is utterly useless. We don’t know about the parking situation, air conditioning, HOA fee, how old the building is, the unit number, or whether there are laundry machines in the unit, let alone on the premises.

Thankfully, Redfin comes through with some information that speaks volumes.

Specifically, during the peak of the housing bubble, in late 2006, this condo sold for an astounding $525,000. Incredible. In March of 2008, it went back to the bank for $389,534. After months with no success attracting a buyer, today the bank is begging on the street, tin cup in hand, for a $234,500 miracle.

Thursday’s downtown property was asking $247 per square foot 1.5 miles from the ocean, but this seller is asking below $200 per square for a property 150 yards from the ocean.

Plus, this large condo features a (mildly) upgraded bathroom and kitchen. And after squinting at the pictures, it appears to have nice-looking hardwood floors and new windows (pertinent information you might want to include when trying to sell a property, dumbass).





Mind you, this place is street-level (vagrants and traffic noise, oh boy!), right next to a gas station, and likely doesn’t have parking--but it still must strike fear into the heart of fellow peak buyers. I mean, that’s a 55% price collapse from just two years ago!

Oofa!

Worse, the bank knows it still won’t sell at this price because there is ample evidence of Waving the White Flag. In addition to the piss-poor listing, just check out some of these photos:







Nice effort, dummy. Or do the toy cars you didn't bother to clean up represent being "freeway close"?

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